Post by Axalon on Aug 19, 2017 19:11:13 GMT -5
It's like DC is trying to compete with the Killing Joke adaptation for awful Batman stories.
First we have Poison Ivy and I don't even know who random plant guy that isn't Swamp Thing breaking into a facility where Ivy somehow hacks into "STAR Labs secure data". Does Ivy even know how to hack? Her entire sthick was as a chemist who got infected by spores or something right? When did she add "hacking into classified mainframes" into her repertoire?
Then we have the opening credits, which is basically a mish-mash of 60's Batman with the oldschool Pink Panther credits.
Which I'd be fine with--if we were looking at some oldschool Batman cheese akin to the Brave and the Bold or Adam West. This is not that. This is quite clearly 90's Kevin Conroy Batman: The Animated Series. It just doesn't add up. This is like putting Batfleck or Michael Keaton into the Adam West world and just having them start killing the criminals, or vice versa with Adam West spraying repellents onto Doomsday in Batman vs Superman.
So then we're treated to Batman and Nightwing literally just walking around on the street asking random people if they've seen Harley Quinn, since they're looking for her because she's friends with Ivy. So Nightwing, as he's just walking down the sidewalk, stumbles on a cafe aptly titled "Superbabes" where the waitresses all walk around in slutty Halloween costumes of various superheroes/supervillains. Coincidentally, Nightwing just so happens to think that the waitress dressed as Harley...is actually Harley. Coincidentally, it really is Harley.
Harley's voice is...well she has a voice. I'll leave it at that. Nightwing and Harley end up fighting...and Nightwing loses.
Worse still is that Nightwing, convinced that this was Harley, never bothers to radio Batman and say "Hey, I found her." We know this because Batman, who has given up looking for Harley and is doing detective work on Ivy, pulls out what I can only presume is his BatPhone and tries to call Nightwing, only to not respond. Sigh. So then we cut back to Nightwing, and he's been tied up in Harley's apartment. Harley goes on a brief tirade of complaining that she can't get a job because she's trying to go straight but no one's hiring the Joker's ex-sidekick, and then Harley and Nightwing have sex.
Hooray. Two completely unnecessary sex scenes for the DCAU now. First Batgirl now Harley. Either Ivy or Catwoman is next I'm sure. Given that Harley is actually Bruce Timm's creation I'm thankful he was restrained by children's tv programming constraints at the time. I'd probably like her even less if this Harley was how we first saw her. Batman eventually gets tired of waiting on Nightwing, so tracks him down and finds the two engaged in a little post-coital fully costumed tickling session. I do admit to getting a chuckle to Batman's disgusted and judgmental look to Nightwing. So now Harley's tagging along with the Dynamic Duo while Batman provides plot exposition on how Ivy and whats-his-face are going to recreate the formula that created Swamp Thing and save the world by turning everyone into plant people.
This...sounds like your average Poison Ivy plot to be honest. Plant domination, blahblah. So as they're driving they JUST SO HAPPEN to see Ivy's ex-top henchman, so they go off on a foot chase after him. Batman pulls her off of him after he's been caught and they just...leave him. I'm honestly not entirely sure why they leave him. I *think* it's just a guy who pissed her off and she was looking for a little revenge instead of actually being Ivy's henchman. So they drive to Bludhaven next and we're treated to a sequence of Harley farting in the Batmobile because she has indigestion from some wings she ate earlier.
After this extremely unpleasant sequence they go to a bar which seems to be comprised of ex-henchmen. I noticed Captain Clown, one of Ras al Ghul's lieutenants, that one chick from the one episode of B:TAS about the super steroid animals (don't ask) among others. It's a nice if completely random easter egg scene. So they find one of Ivy's henchmen, for real this time, and Harley has to do something to get Ivy's location in return. Which is a Harley karaoke sequence. Combined with Harley's voice this is about as unpleasant as you'd expect. AND IT JUST KEEPS GOING. The only funny part of the whole thing is a guy drunk enough to do the Batsui behind Batman, to get punched for his troubles.
A barfight ensues after which we don't see, but we get Adam West-style combat sound effects. Again, just...out of place in this type of Batman setting. Booster Gold randomly calls the Batmobile offering to help, but gets turned down since apparently he's somehow WORSE THAN HARLEY. I only bring it up due to how random a scene it was. The only thing it established was that the heavy-hitters of the Justice League are all out in space dealing with...something and Batman turns down all the B and C-listers despite the world being in danger--but Harley's acceptable I guess. HARLEY QUINN IS FINE BUT FELLOW JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS ARE SO ANNOYING THEY TURN THEM DOWN. Sure they're the B-team or whatever, but really? Come on. They're still Justice League.
The three find Ivy's hideout where they're testing the virus which still doesn't work at the moment. A fight scene ensues after Batman throws the weakest flashbang ever that Ivy has recovered from in less than two seconds. Batman throws some electric batarangs that get deflected which hit some chemicals on the ground which causes the entire lab to explode. The scientist that Ivy hypnotized into helping them dies but tells them to head to Louisana, which is where Ivy is headed, to Swamp Thing's swamp. He then dies.
Ivy and whats-his-face then get high on some yams cultivated from Swamp Thing's corpse (he got better) and use some Swamp Thing power to teleport past a massive police cordon. Batman finally has had enough with Harley because she's a loose cannon and says she isn't trustworthy. "You're the walking definition of loose cannon Harley. For all I know at the last minute you might decide Ivy's plan doesn't sound so bad after all, because the wind changed direction, or because it's THURSDAY." Harley breaks down crying because she's convinced she won't survive the "veggie apocalypse" and might "forget to water myself" or something. Nightwing convinces Batman to take her along as a "Plan B" leading to the "God help us" quote from the trailer.
So the three fly to the swamp and Batman's got some...I guess Louisiana National Guard with them as backup? These guys are just here to be redshirts as Ivy's plant traps start getting rid of them. They keep walking and surprise surprise, Harley betrays them to one of Ivy's tree monsters. It's a betrayal so obvious that it's evident it's a setup to betray Ivy, which it is and happens almost immediately. So another fight scene starts. Batman at one point uses a sonic gun (because that's totally different from a regular gun, it shoots sonic things instead of bullets) but that doesn't work. More National Guard guys show up, with regular guns, but they get eaten by more plant monsters. Ivy is getting cold feet about possibly wiping out humanity if the virus isn't exactly perfect, but Harley is able to convince her with her secret weapon of...wait for it...PUPPY DOG EYES.
Whats-his-face is of course not susceptible to this and attacks Ivy for her betrayal and Ivy is somehow able to use her powers to overpower the magical dryad from another dimension. Then he just punches Ivy in the face and wins. Ivy's down, Harley's down, the Dynamic Duo are down, all seems lost and then Swamp Thing wakes up or something and rises from his swamp. He gives whats-his-face a stern a-talkin' to, but says it isn't his place to judge and then abruptly leaves. Harley then comes up with idea of just...setting him on fire since he's made of plants. Which apparently Batman just NEVER EVER THOUGHT OF.
Then Batman and Nightwing kiss Harley (each on the cheek) we briefly cut to credits, cut back to whats-his-face on fire and running away in panic, and then cut back to credits.
Oh wait, there's more! There's an AFTER CREDIT scene where Harley runs some kind of psychiatrist American Ninja Warrior style show.
I honestly don't know which was worse. Tacking on 30 minutes of complete and utter Batgirl fluff nonsense onto the Killing Joke, or this admittedly original story which is just bad. The Killing Joke does, for the most part, get better once we actually GET TO THE KILLING JOKE part of the story, even if it's cheaply animated. This is like some crazy wacky episode of the animated series blown up into an hour and a half long movie, but not one of the good episodes. This is like Season 3 of B:TAS where the animation and art style changed and other superheroes started entering the universe.
My recommendation is to avoid both of them. If you must see the Killing Joke, do yourself a favor and read the comic version instead.
First we have Poison Ivy and I don't even know who random plant guy that isn't Swamp Thing breaking into a facility where Ivy somehow hacks into "STAR Labs secure data". Does Ivy even know how to hack? Her entire sthick was as a chemist who got infected by spores or something right? When did she add "hacking into classified mainframes" into her repertoire?
Then we have the opening credits, which is basically a mish-mash of 60's Batman with the oldschool Pink Panther credits.
Which I'd be fine with--if we were looking at some oldschool Batman cheese akin to the Brave and the Bold or Adam West. This is not that. This is quite clearly 90's Kevin Conroy Batman: The Animated Series. It just doesn't add up. This is like putting Batfleck or Michael Keaton into the Adam West world and just having them start killing the criminals, or vice versa with Adam West spraying repellents onto Doomsday in Batman vs Superman.
So then we're treated to Batman and Nightwing literally just walking around on the street asking random people if they've seen Harley Quinn, since they're looking for her because she's friends with Ivy. So Nightwing, as he's just walking down the sidewalk, stumbles on a cafe aptly titled "Superbabes" where the waitresses all walk around in slutty Halloween costumes of various superheroes/supervillains. Coincidentally, Nightwing just so happens to think that the waitress dressed as Harley...is actually Harley. Coincidentally, it really is Harley.
Harley's voice is...well she has a voice. I'll leave it at that. Nightwing and Harley end up fighting...and Nightwing loses.
Worse still is that Nightwing, convinced that this was Harley, never bothers to radio Batman and say "Hey, I found her." We know this because Batman, who has given up looking for Harley and is doing detective work on Ivy, pulls out what I can only presume is his BatPhone and tries to call Nightwing, only to not respond. Sigh. So then we cut back to Nightwing, and he's been tied up in Harley's apartment. Harley goes on a brief tirade of complaining that she can't get a job because she's trying to go straight but no one's hiring the Joker's ex-sidekick, and then Harley and Nightwing have sex.
Hooray. Two completely unnecessary sex scenes for the DCAU now. First Batgirl now Harley. Either Ivy or Catwoman is next I'm sure. Given that Harley is actually Bruce Timm's creation I'm thankful he was restrained by children's tv programming constraints at the time. I'd probably like her even less if this Harley was how we first saw her. Batman eventually gets tired of waiting on Nightwing, so tracks him down and finds the two engaged in a little post-coital fully costumed tickling session. I do admit to getting a chuckle to Batman's disgusted and judgmental look to Nightwing. So now Harley's tagging along with the Dynamic Duo while Batman provides plot exposition on how Ivy and whats-his-face are going to recreate the formula that created Swamp Thing and save the world by turning everyone into plant people.
This...sounds like your average Poison Ivy plot to be honest. Plant domination, blahblah. So as they're driving they JUST SO HAPPEN to see Ivy's ex-top henchman, so they go off on a foot chase after him. Batman pulls her off of him after he's been caught and they just...leave him. I'm honestly not entirely sure why they leave him. I *think* it's just a guy who pissed her off and she was looking for a little revenge instead of actually being Ivy's henchman. So they drive to Bludhaven next and we're treated to a sequence of Harley farting in the Batmobile because she has indigestion from some wings she ate earlier.
After this extremely unpleasant sequence they go to a bar which seems to be comprised of ex-henchmen. I noticed Captain Clown, one of Ras al Ghul's lieutenants, that one chick from the one episode of B:TAS about the super steroid animals (don't ask) among others. It's a nice if completely random easter egg scene. So they find one of Ivy's henchmen, for real this time, and Harley has to do something to get Ivy's location in return. Which is a Harley karaoke sequence. Combined with Harley's voice this is about as unpleasant as you'd expect. AND IT JUST KEEPS GOING. The only funny part of the whole thing is a guy drunk enough to do the Batsui behind Batman, to get punched for his troubles.
A barfight ensues after which we don't see, but we get Adam West-style combat sound effects. Again, just...out of place in this type of Batman setting. Booster Gold randomly calls the Batmobile offering to help, but gets turned down since apparently he's somehow WORSE THAN HARLEY. I only bring it up due to how random a scene it was. The only thing it established was that the heavy-hitters of the Justice League are all out in space dealing with...something and Batman turns down all the B and C-listers despite the world being in danger--but Harley's acceptable I guess. HARLEY QUINN IS FINE BUT FELLOW JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS ARE SO ANNOYING THEY TURN THEM DOWN. Sure they're the B-team or whatever, but really? Come on. They're still Justice League.
The three find Ivy's hideout where they're testing the virus which still doesn't work at the moment. A fight scene ensues after Batman throws the weakest flashbang ever that Ivy has recovered from in less than two seconds. Batman throws some electric batarangs that get deflected which hit some chemicals on the ground which causes the entire lab to explode. The scientist that Ivy hypnotized into helping them dies but tells them to head to Louisana, which is where Ivy is headed, to Swamp Thing's swamp. He then dies.
Ivy and whats-his-face then get high on some yams cultivated from Swamp Thing's corpse (he got better) and use some Swamp Thing power to teleport past a massive police cordon. Batman finally has had enough with Harley because she's a loose cannon and says she isn't trustworthy. "You're the walking definition of loose cannon Harley. For all I know at the last minute you might decide Ivy's plan doesn't sound so bad after all, because the wind changed direction, or because it's THURSDAY." Harley breaks down crying because she's convinced she won't survive the "veggie apocalypse" and might "forget to water myself" or something. Nightwing convinces Batman to take her along as a "Plan B" leading to the "God help us" quote from the trailer.
So the three fly to the swamp and Batman's got some...I guess Louisiana National Guard with them as backup? These guys are just here to be redshirts as Ivy's plant traps start getting rid of them. They keep walking and surprise surprise, Harley betrays them to one of Ivy's tree monsters. It's a betrayal so obvious that it's evident it's a setup to betray Ivy, which it is and happens almost immediately. So another fight scene starts. Batman at one point uses a sonic gun (because that's totally different from a regular gun, it shoots sonic things instead of bullets) but that doesn't work. More National Guard guys show up, with regular guns, but they get eaten by more plant monsters. Ivy is getting cold feet about possibly wiping out humanity if the virus isn't exactly perfect, but Harley is able to convince her with her secret weapon of...wait for it...PUPPY DOG EYES.
Whats-his-face is of course not susceptible to this and attacks Ivy for her betrayal and Ivy is somehow able to use her powers to overpower the magical dryad from another dimension. Then he just punches Ivy in the face and wins. Ivy's down, Harley's down, the Dynamic Duo are down, all seems lost and then Swamp Thing wakes up or something and rises from his swamp. He gives whats-his-face a stern a-talkin' to, but says it isn't his place to judge and then abruptly leaves. Harley then comes up with idea of just...setting him on fire since he's made of plants. Which apparently Batman just NEVER EVER THOUGHT OF.
Then Batman and Nightwing kiss Harley (each on the cheek) we briefly cut to credits, cut back to whats-his-face on fire and running away in panic, and then cut back to credits.
Oh wait, there's more! There's an AFTER CREDIT scene where Harley runs some kind of psychiatrist American Ninja Warrior style show.
I honestly don't know which was worse. Tacking on 30 minutes of complete and utter Batgirl fluff nonsense onto the Killing Joke, or this admittedly original story which is just bad. The Killing Joke does, for the most part, get better once we actually GET TO THE KILLING JOKE part of the story, even if it's cheaply animated. This is like some crazy wacky episode of the animated series blown up into an hour and a half long movie, but not one of the good episodes. This is like Season 3 of B:TAS where the animation and art style changed and other superheroes started entering the universe.
My recommendation is to avoid both of them. If you must see the Killing Joke, do yourself a favor and read the comic version instead.