12 pieces of hilariously bad video game box art
May 30, 2014 19:56:48 GMT -5
taylor, VinceMayCry, and 1 more like this
Post by gbw on May 30, 2014 19:56:48 GMT -5
Yahoo! Games
While we don’t spend much time perusing aisles of brand new video games anymore (thanks, downloadable gaming!), we certainly appreciate all the hard work that goes into crafting the tempting images on retail boxes.
Sometimes, though, hard work takes a backseat to bad ideas. We’re not sure how these 12 disastrous pieces of video game box art made it to store shelves, but they did, and for that, we are thankful.
Phalanx
In space, no one can hear you banjo. But the developers of this sci-fi shooter didn’t care one bit, choosing to dump old man Cletus on the cover just to confuse the kids. Guess what? It worked!
Tongue of the Fatman
It gets points for clarity – that is a mouth, yessir – but whoever decided that the whole ‘fake nostril eyeballs’ thing was the best way to convey the intensity of this one-on-one fighting game should be forced to lick each and every copy. Forever.
Barbarian II
Video game or terrible 80’s metal album? There were a ton of Barbarian games, and every one looks just like this.
Karnaaj Rally
Yes, this is real. No, that guy’s name is not Karnaaj.
Shaq-Fu
Shaq is a lot of things – basketball legend, total goofball, fake sheriff, lousy commentator – but despite a newfound interest in MMA, he’s not exactly the world’s most intimidating martial artist. That didn’t stop him from trying to look the part on the cover of his so-bad-it’s-really-bad 16-bit fighting game (Genesis on the left, SNES on the right). Smile, Shaq! Video games!
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
Peer into the smiling face of death! The monsters have nothing on Wonder Boy, the creepiest killer on Sega’s Master System.
Mega Man
We could dedicate an entire slideshow to terrible Mega Man box art. The original is something special, though. Where is he? Florida? Are those giant screws? What happened to his eyeballs? Why is he holding a gun? He’s Mega Man! Legs don’t go like that!
Mega Man 2
But wait, there’s more! The sequel ditches the tropics in favor of Some Platform Somewhere Near Lava, though again Mega Man’s iconic arm cannon is gone, replaced by a laser pistol. At least that explains why he’s shooting wildly. Also, his eyes are closed, and he’s 48 years old, and…
Night Trap
First released on the Sega CD, Night Trap featured scantily-clad co-eds fighting vampires at a slumber party. That part was controversial, but the real crime was this insane box art for the 32X version. Don’t hit me, blurry Dana Plato! It’s not my fault you’re stuck in this nightmare.
Tommy Lasorda Baseball
No offense to the Dodgers great, but Tommy Lasorda was never really a looker. Even at his paunchiest, however, Lasorda never looked as downright scary as this watercolored, photochopped mess.
Theme Park
Big fun at the theme park, guys. Big fun. We are having a blast up in here. We are not at all bored of thiscrummy incredible rollercoaster, and neither is our dog.
Bust-a-Move 2: Arcade Edition
This puzzle game is so good, you’ll wish you were watching A Clockwork Orange. Luckily, we can avert our gaze from this eyesore.
While we don’t spend much time perusing aisles of brand new video games anymore (thanks, downloadable gaming!), we certainly appreciate all the hard work that goes into crafting the tempting images on retail boxes.
Sometimes, though, hard work takes a backseat to bad ideas. We’re not sure how these 12 disastrous pieces of video game box art made it to store shelves, but they did, and for that, we are thankful.
Phalanx
In space, no one can hear you banjo. But the developers of this sci-fi shooter didn’t care one bit, choosing to dump old man Cletus on the cover just to confuse the kids. Guess what? It worked!
Tongue of the Fatman
It gets points for clarity – that is a mouth, yessir – but whoever decided that the whole ‘fake nostril eyeballs’ thing was the best way to convey the intensity of this one-on-one fighting game should be forced to lick each and every copy. Forever.
Barbarian II
Video game or terrible 80’s metal album? There were a ton of Barbarian games, and every one looks just like this.
Karnaaj Rally
Yes, this is real. No, that guy’s name is not Karnaaj.
Shaq-Fu
Shaq is a lot of things – basketball legend, total goofball, fake sheriff, lousy commentator – but despite a newfound interest in MMA, he’s not exactly the world’s most intimidating martial artist. That didn’t stop him from trying to look the part on the cover of his so-bad-it’s-really-bad 16-bit fighting game (Genesis on the left, SNES on the right). Smile, Shaq! Video games!
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
Peer into the smiling face of death! The monsters have nothing on Wonder Boy, the creepiest killer on Sega’s Master System.
Mega Man
We could dedicate an entire slideshow to terrible Mega Man box art. The original is something special, though. Where is he? Florida? Are those giant screws? What happened to his eyeballs? Why is he holding a gun? He’s Mega Man! Legs don’t go like that!
Mega Man 2
But wait, there’s more! The sequel ditches the tropics in favor of Some Platform Somewhere Near Lava, though again Mega Man’s iconic arm cannon is gone, replaced by a laser pistol. At least that explains why he’s shooting wildly. Also, his eyes are closed, and he’s 48 years old, and…
Night Trap
First released on the Sega CD, Night Trap featured scantily-clad co-eds fighting vampires at a slumber party. That part was controversial, but the real crime was this insane box art for the 32X version. Don’t hit me, blurry Dana Plato! It’s not my fault you’re stuck in this nightmare.
Tommy Lasorda Baseball
No offense to the Dodgers great, but Tommy Lasorda was never really a looker. Even at his paunchiest, however, Lasorda never looked as downright scary as this watercolored, photochopped mess.
Theme Park
Big fun at the theme park, guys. Big fun. We are having a blast up in here. We are not at all bored of this
Bust-a-Move 2: Arcade Edition
This puzzle game is so good, you’ll wish you were watching A Clockwork Orange. Luckily, we can avert our gaze from this eyesore.